Narcissism, Narcolepsy, Nepotism…

June 11, 2005

I could start off by saying I’m lonely, but that would be a lie. I am,
however, starved for social interaction. Guild Wars (online game, very
cool) has kept me in touch with other people from the UpThere land,
and it helps me escape my sister’s raging madness that is going on.

I am getting a job, it looks like. My dad came home and asked if I
wanted to work for his company, and I said yes. He explained that
Cabot Microelectronics needs someone to measure and sort circut wafers
for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. So I’m going to do that. I have to
be interviewed as a formality and take a drug test. My dad typically
does the interviewing but since it’s me there will be someone else
interviewing me. As I am told, this is the most boring job in the
world. I wear a protection suit and mask since this is a clean room
(no dust, etc) and precisely measure thin little pieces of silicon and
put them into bins depending on their size. Great fun, eh?

I’ve been doing things around the house. Like cleaning. A lot of it.
Ask Jill. I clean everything, and I do it late at night. Yup.

On to my main point…
There’s a Juliana Theory song that has the lyrics “Life is love or a
lack thereof.” Now, There is probably a grey area here that they dont
really discuss. Life is love, or a love you don’t want, or an
unrequited love, or an unfulfilled love, or a complete lack thereof.
That just didn’t fit in with the flow of the song though. My life has
plenty of love, and I find it more and more each day. Completely
fulfilled, as far as I know, but I always want to do more in return. I
know that I can help people in loving ways, I don’t know why I cant
ever express the love in right ways. For example, some people see
something tragic and can write a beautiful poem about someone going
and doing a heroic deed in light of the dangers, while others are
those heroes. I want to be both.

So where are you? Feeling loved, ignored, kinda loved, but just in a
far to fake kinda way? I don’t know where alot of my friends are,
simply because I don’t ask that much. But I know that there are people
that are meant to show us how we can be loved, and how we must love
others. And ocassionally, how to write a song.

Let it ride

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One Response to “Narcissism, Narcolepsy, Nepotism…”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    i love you


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