A Praise Chorus

June 14, 2006

Today (being Tuesday) was a bad day.

I started work a little later that I had hoped because the heat in my room kept me up last night. I did find some cool new ideas for support which I talked about with the other Flock intern, Eletido/Jon Holman. Things were going alright for a while.

Then my grandmother called.

My aunt Loretta had surgery the other week. She replaced not one, but both of her knees. And she made an amazing recovery. She went home and was resting. And then something happened.

The doctors aren’t sure of what it was. When my grandmother called, she said it was a heart attack, which would not be unreasonable given our family history of heart problems. Later on in the evening we learned that they had ruled that out, but they still hadn’t run all the tests needed. My aunt will have some more test run on her through the night and in the morning.

I called my mom immeadiately. The gasp was the single loudest gasp I
have ever heard. I don’t blame her. Aunt Loretta was doing so well, and
this was a complete shock to us. It was like somebody took an airhorn
labeled “Mortality” and blasted it in your ear.

The news threw me off for the rest of the day.

I couldn’t keep focused during work. I would bounce from one response to another, forgetting to save them, meaning I lost entire responses. I couldn’t keep track of which bugs I had to file, and which extensions I had to test. I was just kinda drifting through the day.

I got Krazy Glue in my eye. Luckily, I wear contacts, and it is really easy to get them out in a hurry when they bond to your finger instantly.

I posted some stuff I shouldn’t on a tech forum. I didn’t really think it through, and Will Pate let me know that it wasn’t cool to post those things quite yet (I did have reasoning to think it was, but I won’t argue with them on this). By the way, Will is an expert duck surfer…

And then it was off to dinner. We had Red Lobster, which meant I got the same salad I get every time, the shrimp and lobster cesaer. And every time I get it, I end up sick to my stomach a few hours later.

I’m a distracted, sticky, blabberin’, queasy mess.

What better way to celebrate the state of being I was in than to go running? Granted, I let my stomach settle down a bit first, but it just wasn’t a good workout. I hardly ran 3/4 of a mile before I gave up and worked on the rowing machine for a while.

Really, I have nobody to blame but myself. I let my mind get stuck on a problem, I was using Krazy Glue in the car, I should have asked if it was alright to post the information, and I’ll just have to roll with the salad issue, because it is one tasty dish. Why does my inner voice sound like Zach Braff? It’s driving me nuts…

I really want to talk a bit about something a bit more philisophical, and something really deep. I know exactly what I would relay to you, and the points I would make. But I am tired, and I really want to just forget today, which was, with the exception of Flock being released and Jill still loving me, a horrible day. Maybe tomorrow we’ll feel alive.

Are you gonna live your life wonderin’ standing in the back lookin’ around?

Are you gonna waste your time thinkin’ how you’ve grown up or how you missed out?

Things are never gonna be the way you want.

Where’s it gonna get you acting serious?

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