I watched the movie, Se7en tonight. It is an odd, twisting psychodrama that is truly well cast, but it disturbs me to no end.

SPOILER ALERT (although this explains the reason I cannot sleep)

In the climax of the movie, the antagonist (John Doe, played by Kevin Spacey) leads the two protagonists (Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt) out to a field to show them where his two final murders were. There is nothing in sight, but all of a sudden a delivery van screams down the dirt road. Freeman’s character stops the van, and asks what it is doing out in the middle of nowhere. The delivery guy says he has a package for Pitt’s character. At the same time, Pitt is being put through agony as Spacey plays with his mind, twisting words into blades and jabbing them deep into his heart. He claims to be envious of Pitt, which is why he tried to live like him that morning. He killed Pitt’s wife and unborn child (of whom, Pitt had not learned of yet), and reveals this to him. Pitt gets so visibly upset and distraught you honestly have no clue what is going to occur next. You believe he is either going to blast Spacey to bits or break down in complete despair, unable to do anything. At the same time, Freeman opens the box, only to find the head of Pitt’s wife. Freeman is taken aback, which shows a lot, since he is the “battle hardened” detective. As he runs over to try to keep Pitt from killing Spacey, it is too late. Pitt unloads an entire clip into Spacey and walks away.


That is why I cannot sleep. I get these deep-seeded fears of the absolute worst happening to Jill, and whenever it becomes visible through some medium, I lock up in panic. I tremble at the thoughts that run through my head. There is no way for me to protect her now, not with this distance between us. What would I do? I don’t believe in gun ownership for private citizens (though I understand the constitutional right) and ownly have swords and knives as weapons (along with just about any object on hand)

Everything I need fits inside of my arms, and if she is ever ripped away maliciously, I think my will to live would be as well.

Onward to sleep and nightmares! For these are the manifestations of my fears in the unwaking world.

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To-Do: July 3, 2007

July 3, 2007


  • Wake at 9:30am. Go to bookstore and get book. Read first assigned reading
  • Class from 11:00am-12:30pm
  • After class, go to the Secretary of State office, get MI driver’s license
  • Come home, eat lunch (baked potato with some fresh corn and a salad sounds good)
  • Homework (if any) then Flock work. Working a regular schedule now, gotta get in to the swing of it again
  • Dinner
  • Work on moped. Get it running by Friday? At the very least, get the carb off and drain the lines and clean them of sediment. Grab a battery (12-20 bucks) and hook that up. See if I can start via pushbutton start since kickstarting isn’t working.

The moped is a fun little toy of mine, for all intents and purposes. 1982 Honda Urban Express (Iowa model), with something like 6,000 miles on it. Right now, what it needs:

  • Jet in carb widened too much by debris. Replace jet, get larger needle? Basically, it’s causing the modped to run too rich a fuel mixture, meaning it goes VERY slow until the engine is no longer flooded. Goes 5mph now, when it runs. Should be able to kick it up to 30 after fixing some things
  • Kickstarter out of position and loose
  • No battery for lights, horn, signals, or pushbutton start
  • Battery box needs to be reattached
  • Air cleaner/filter needs to be cleaned, oiled and reattached
  • Gas and oil lines need to be cleaned out/replaced
  • Gas tank needs to be cleaned out, make sure it is in good shape
  • Oil tank needs to be flushed out
  • Front brakes and bearings need to be adjusted
  • All parts need to be cleaned
  • Main frame needs touch up paint on bottom, some sides
  • Many light covers are shattered, need replacing
  • Replace spark plug
  • Clean engine
  • Remove rust, polish and shine up all surfaces
  • Get moped registered
  • Get helmet
  • Get milk crate for back luggage rack

It shouldn’t cost too much. I’m trying to find my tear-down guide that I have in PDF form somewhere…

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Alrighty then. Jill and I now have a final set date, and a reception hall, and some really great ideas that we’ll be going back to as we continue the wedding planning

  • Date: July 26th, 2007
  • Church: Midland Reformed Church
  • Reception: Horizons Center in Saginaw, MI
  • Time: Uh, yes? Probably during normal wedding hours
  • Pastor: Jill’s cool pastor cousin dude
  • Theme: MOPEDS! (not really, but we have some ideas of how the reception can be themed)

One thing we are going to try to do is have the head table set for Jill and I, plus groomsmen/bridesmaids and their dates. We don’t like the idea of separating folks from their dates and seating them with folks they might not know. So it will be a large head table, but we’re fine with that!

I really want the goal of the entire thing to be not only about us (it is, but especially about her) but also about all of the folks who have gotten us to where we are today. You all mean so much to us, and we feel like we should honor that and recognize it in our wedding. We just don’t know how, exactly, right now.

We also want to make it something convenient. Many weddings have a gap of hours where folks have to kill time between the wedding and the reception. It would be cool to have something provided for the guests to do in the meanwhile, but what is the question.

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